Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
