check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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