You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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