Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
