I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She's the barista slut.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
