i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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