Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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