Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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