in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
