so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
