your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
