dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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