So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
