love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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