Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
