we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
