addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So many bounce houses so little time
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
