Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
