I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
