you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
