Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
