do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
