And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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