yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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