She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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