you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
