the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
