Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
