ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
