Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's shark week go big or go home
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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