i'm signing you up for texting rehab
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
