I accidentally had phone sex last night
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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