i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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