I must be too annoying 4 u.
Your tits are I can't wait for
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
