ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
