Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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