I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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