WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
smell my finger.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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