And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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