i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
