she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
