im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
