every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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