Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
