forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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