ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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