That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nicole vs. Life
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
