did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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