I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
