yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
