So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we're making bets on your personal life
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
